Libra, the Scales, is the seventh sign of the Zodiac, representing balance in all things even if you have to use your thumb.

Libras strive for fairness but can be over judgmental, causing them to freeze up at even the simplest decisions, such as mashed potatoes or stuffing.

Libras need plenty of breathing space and become nervous if pressured or crowded into making a decision, leading to embarrassing public whining. Strangely, they feel no need to give others similar room to work and are thus often saddled with playful nicknames such as ‘sumbitch’ and ‘jerkface’.

Because of their energy and stamina, Libras are highly prized as coworkers and mates, though their insistence on consistent and mutual, synchronized orgasms can lead to short, bitter relationships.

Being attractive is very important to Libras, which is odd considering that the vast majority of them resemble children born of Ernest Borgnine and Phyllis Diller.

Because of their ability to see both sides of a problem, Libras are prone to procrastinating and then, becoming further conflicted over whether they should continue procrastinating or not, often poof out of existence with a wet farting noise.