Capricorn, the Goat, is the tenth sign of
the Zodiac and represents a serious, mature outlook and an awareness
of our relation to the universe, though, on the weekends, the sign
spends much of its time downing beers and chasing sorority girls.
Capricorns tend towards the conservative
but this does not hinder their forward drive as they motor on like
dutiful lawnmowers, chewing through life's yard and unexpectedly
firing out the occasional rock.
Those born under this sign have an instinctive
knowledge of power and how it works, easily gaining themselves a
corner office and a key to the executive men’s washroom through
a tireless campaign of intense brown-nosing and nasty, interoffice
politics.
They're not necessarily dictatorial, however,
specializing instead in telling others how to do things and practicing
how to perfectly intone the phrase "I told you so".
Generally, Capricorns give the impression
of having an impressive wealth of knowledge at their fingertips,
despite the fact that the bulk of them couldn’t pour piss out of
a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
Many astrologers say that Capricorn is the
most difficult astrological sign to characterize, proving that astrologers
are all just a bunch of hacks and snake-oil salesman after all.
Despite this, it is known that Capricorns
do all seem to share a sense of fatalism, suspicion, a lack of flexibility
and, most distastefully, chewing gum.
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